


I'm Sorry

by raytatay



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Break Up, Freewood - Freeform, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:39:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raytatay/pseuds/raytatay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sorry is the only way to describe this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

They just don’t know what happened to them. They started out great, really great. They were so in love, they never thought they’d fall so out if it. But, they hadn’t. They did love each other. But they knew they could never be in love, fully. That the sparks they thought they felt at the beginning didn’t last, that they couldn’t find it in them to keep it going strong, that the fights got too hard on both of them.

It was hard on both of them. When Gavin came home yet another night drunk out of his mind, stumbling in and yelling for Ryan to help him, Ryan obliged. Though he wasn’t a fan of a ridiculously intoxicated Gavin, he didn’t mind caring for him and making sure he made it to his bed, even preparing pills and water by his night stand, and pulling the trash can closer for the inevitable vomit that’d soon come after his awakening. Gavin always thanked him for that. It kind of pained him, too. Gavin didn’t want to be a bother to Ryan, as much as they weren’t connecting anymore. They cared for each other. They just couldn’t agree anymore, except on one thing. Actually, make that two.

1\. The sex was amazing.

2\. They needed to break up.

The other thing is that they never made a hint to their friends and co-workers that things weren’t going well, except for maybe Geoff who’d caught them arguing once. Gavin assured them they were alright, and at the time he thought they were. That it’d pass, they’d have make up sex (which they did), but the fights didn’t stop. It only continued, into really pointless things too.

“Ryan,” Gavin whined, slurred in his intoxicated state. Ryan had gotten him into the bedroom they used to share, undressed him and tucked him in, sitting at the edge of the bed to watch him fall asleep, making sure he didn’t stray from the bed and get himself hurt.

“Yes, Gavin?” Ryan prompted, sounding sleepy and slightly defeated.

“W-why can’t we make,” He hiccupped in between, “make this work a-anymore?”

Ryan grimaced. “I don’t know.” Ryan answered honestly. He really wish he did knew.

“Fuck me, Ryan.” Gavin said suddenly. Ryan shook his head.

“You know I don’t do that when you’re like this, Gavin.”

“R-Ryan, please,” Gavin begged, even thought he was getting sleepier by the second. “I want to feel like we’re alright,”

Ryan felt a single tear fall down his cheek, quickly wiping it away before he spoke. “No. Get to sleep.” Ryan said, somewhat harshly, just wanting the man to fall asleep.

“But I love you, Ryan.”

“No you don’t.”

“I d-do! I swear I do!” Now Gavin was crying, and the words that were already slurred were becoming uncomprehendable. Ryan was crying now too. When they stopped crying, Ryan got up, stripped his clothes off except for his boxers and got into bed with Gavin for the first time in weeks other than for sex.

“Just shut up and go to sleep.” Ryan said, pulling the man to his body. The feeling was both comforting and painful at the same time. Gavin was mumbling some sort of complaint yet not moving out of the embrace, only relaxing into it, eventually quieting down and turning to bury his face into Ryan’s chest and fall asleep like that. Ryan remembered the days when something like this was just cute and sweet, when it wasn’t accompanied by a painful feeling in his heart and tears falling down his face once more, stroking his hair before falling asleep himself.

…

Ryan didn’t realize how badly he placed himself. When Gavin woke up, Ryan barely had opened his eyes before Gavin was toppling over him, hurling into the bucket and nearly jabbing Ryan in the ribs. When Ryan looked down, blinking several times, he realized Gavin had dripped onto his stomach and Ryan frowned. Well, he did it to himself.

“I’m so sorry, Ryan,” Gavin breathed out before another heave forced everything out of his system. Ryan just got up and stumbled over to the bathroom and turned the shower on, washing himself and standing under the hot stream for a long time, trying to relax his mind. All until he heard the door creak open.

“Ryan,” He heard Gavin croak. “Do you mind if I… if I join?”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Ryan asked.

“Please,” was all he said, undoubtedly right outside the curtain.

Ryan thought about it for a moment, but shook his head, turning to pull the curtain open and looking at a sad looking Gavin. He slowly stepped in, getting under the stream of water and cleaning himself quietly. After he’d rinsed himself off, he turned to face Ryan, looking up at him and finally Ryan made eye contact with him. He could see it in Gavin, the slightest switch, as he started getting closer to him, wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist and rested his head against Ryan’s wet shoulder. It took a moment for Ryan to hug back, his hands going to his back and rubbing up to his neck and grasping hit wet hair, running his hand through it once as Gavin sighed. Gavin then leaned back from his shoulder, taking Ryan’s chin in his hand and then pulling him down for a slow kiss.

Their lips gently moved against each other, almost as if they were scared to break each other. Gavin’s hands roamed down Ryan’s back, and as his hips shifted Ryan could feel his growing hardness, and he was getting hard too, Gavin’s hand now going to grasp at his cock and slowly pumped it. Ryan softly moaned, Gavin’s other hand going to run up Ryan’s stomach and up to his chest, then up to his bicep, holding onto as he pumped a bit faster, now lined up so he could pump both their cocks together, the moment their tips touched they both groaned out. Gavin rapidly picked up his pace, both having broken breaths as they got close. Ryan moved his head to kiss Gavin furiously, moaning into his mouth as he came, spilling onto Gavin and Gavin followed soon after. They washed off before both leaving the shower and toweling off.

…

They had gone to a restaurant after work that day, pretty quiet for the most part until Gavin sighed, now picking at his food that he lost appetite for. “I asked Geoff if I could move back in.” Gavin started, Ryan keeping his mouth in a straight line and saying nothing. “He said that he never did anything with my old room in the backyard.” Gavin forced a laugh, Ryan giving him a small smile, until the both frowned, looking down at the table again.

“Did he say anything else?” Ryan asked, more to make conversation than anything.

Gavin shrugged. “Just that he was sad to see… us part…”

“Me too,” Ryan whispered. Gavin put his hand over Ryan’s on the table, getting Ryan to look up at him with searching eyes.

“Ryan, I want you to know that I’ll… I’ll always love you.”

Ryan smiled sadly. “I love you too, Gavin. I wish we could fix this, but, we both know it’s… gone to shit.”

“I know.” They were still holding hands, Gavin playing with Ryan’s fingers absentmindedly.

“When are you going to move out?”

“Tomorrow…” Gavin said, letting the word linger into the air. They let go of the embrace as the waiter returned. Ryan told him to get the check and he nodded, leaving them alone once more.

“God, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t,” Ryan interrupted. “We’re both sorry. We wanted this to work. Let’s just… try to make this as painless as possible.”

“…Because we’ve already had a lot of pain from this already, Ryan. There’s no escaping the pain of this, love.” Gavin said. It’d been a while since Gavin had called him love, and it made Ryan’s heart swell and ache.

“I know,” Ryan said. _Sorry_ and _I know_ had become more common phrases than I love you at this point.

They were quiet from the time they paid the check to arriving at home for the last time together, to spend their last night together under the same roof.

“Ryan,”

“Yes?”

“I didn’t want to make this more painful, but, I just... I need you to sleep in the bed with me one last time.”

Ryan almost said no, but he couldn’t resist one last night with him. Neither of them wanted it to end, but they knew it was necessary, for their own sanity. He simply nodded, watching as Gavin made his way up the stairs as Ryan cleaned up some dishes he hadn’t gotten around to until then. When he turned off all the lights downstairs and locked the door, he made his way upstairs to the bedroom, freezing in his place in the doorway when Gavin was faced away from him on the bed sobbing into his hands, his bare back arched over, Ryan’s eyes wandering down the outline of his spine as Gavin took sharp breaths. Ryan slowly approached him, the feeling to cry himself building up in his throat but he willed it back. He sat behind Gavin and held onto him as he continued to sob more heavily. Ryan tried to shush and calm him until Gavin pulled out from his grasp and getting Ryan to lay back on the bed, crawling on top of him and kissing his lips with desperate passion, then moving to pull off his shirt and kiss from his neck down to his collar bone, Ryan starting to feel the tear fall from his eye down the side of his cheek unto the pillow. Gavin moved to kiss his cheeks and then his nose, wiping the tears for him while starting to cry again.

He pulled Ryan’s pants off and then pulled the sheets over them, pressing a few more kisses to his cheek and draping an arm over his stomach as he willed himself to sleep. Ryan gently stroked Gavin’s arm with his thumb, falling into sleep soon after he felt the slow, even breaths from Gavin.

…

He watched as Gavin carried the last of his few things to Geoff’s car. He saw the sad look on Geoff’s face as he helped, despite Gavin whining “I’ve got it, I’ve got it!”

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick,” Gavin excused himself as Geoff walked inside, looking at Ryan. Ryan wanted to smile, but it would be out of place. So he just kind of looked at him.

“You… didn’t hurt him, right?”

“God, no, Geoff. We just don’t get along as lovers anymore, okay?”

“Gavin hasn’t said anything to me about this.”

Ryan grimaced. Of course Gavin would keep it to himself. He was like that with the really personal stuff. “I mean, I trust you, man, I just want to know if he’s alright.”

“We’re just really emotionally worn out, Geoff. He’ll open up to you, eventually.”

“Okay.” He was quiet for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“I will be, eventually.”

“What about work?”

“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry too much.” Ryan assured him as best he could. Geoff nodded, Gavin just now returning. His eyes were red, probably from crying again, making Ryan frown.

“I’ll be in the car when you’re ready, buddy,” Geoff said, now turning to Ryan. “See you Monday, Ryan.”

The house felt empty without Gavin’s stuff, but Ryan knew it wasn’t going to be even as close to empty feeling once Gavin walked out that door. Gavin stepped closer to him, neither looking at each other as there was a long silence between them.

“Guess this is goodbye,” Gavin said, breaking the silence finally.

“Yep.” Ryan said. He started to chuckle.

Gavin looked up at him, confused and a little frustrated. Ryan shook his head, smiling.

“I don’t even know anymore.”

“Shut your stupid gob,” Gavin said, both laughing now, but it ended in sad sighs.

“Just weird how we still do this, that we could look so whole when we’re not.”

“I know,” Gavin said. Then he cupped Ryan’s face. “Bye, Ryan…”

“I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too,” Gavin said, both forcing back the tears as Ryan kissed Gavin’s forehead and let him go, Gavin walking out and not daring to look back, because he knew he’d want to run back and only hurt them further. Ryan watched from the door as he got in next to Geoff and he pulled away, driving off and a minute after they were out of Ryan’s sight, he closed the door.


End file.
